Closing Shop

I think I am about done pumping. I know, I know. The going-ons of my milk production and supply are of the utmost importance, lol, but it is a big milestone for me.

I had to look back and see when I got to this point last time because I couldn't remember how far along I made it. Turns out it was almost the same length of time. I pumped at work for 9 months and 26 days with Katie. The last time I pumped was on September 16th, making it 9 months and 19 days with Nathan.

This time is a bit different since Nathan nurses at home, and I am not exclusively pumping. I started pumping only at work over a month ago because Nathan was nursing so much when I was home. Today alone I nursed Nathan 4 times and worked over 12 hours.

I have an over abundance of frozen milk; last time I checked, I had enough milk for Nathan for 7 months at the amount he was drinking then. I feel like it is not as crucial that I pump frozen milk for him now as it was earlier. And for awhile, I was afraid my regular supply would drop if I didn't pump at work, but I have been doing okay the last week or so.
While I am pretty sure the last time was the last time, I am hesitant to close up shop. I know Nathan is growing up right before my eyes and while we have many more months of breastfeeding ahead, I know it will be over before I know it. I know how fast my Boo Bear grew up, and I don't want to blink. I am enjoying nursing my little boy for as long as I can!

Last Drop

Today was the last day that Katie got a bottle of breast milk. I have been hanging onto the last bag of frozen milk for a couple of days. She should have gotten it on the 30th or 31st, but I just couldn't part with it...

Breastfeeding is something I always knew that I would do, something I am very passionate about, and something I never thought I would have this much of a battle with. A year ago today, I didn't know if it was something that I could continue with. The beginning of my breastfeeding relationship with Katie started out so shaky, I thought about quitting in the first and second week. Honestly, without my friends and family there to support me, listen to me cry, give me encouraging advice, and help me out, I don't think I would have made it past the NICU. I distinctly remember talking to my dad, who was halfway around the world in Afghanistan, and him encouraging me to keep pumping, that things would get better and I would feel differently about things in a few days or a week. I am so glad that I did.

I told myself then that I would pump for two weeks,
then for six weeks,
to the end of my maternity leave.
to six months,
then to a year.

I had to set small goals to keep myself going in the beginning, but I am here. I did it!! I made it to my original goal of twelve months!! I think I have pumped in every situation you can imagine, from bathroom stalls, driving in the car, sitting in parking lots, in my home office, the NICU, small rooms at work, doctor's offices, airports, in the living room while watching TV with the family....you name it, and my pump and I have been there. lol! It was definitely worth it all in the end.

I want you to know that mommy loves you so very much my precious baby girl, and I would do anything in this world to help you succeed.

Happy One Year, My Love. 

The Beginning of the End

Of pumping at work, that is. Today is the first day that I did not pump at work. I have been pumping for nine months and twenty-six days...

While we were on vacation, I was only pumping twice a day, and I found if I pumped three times a day, I didn't get any more milk. I am now able to pump before and after work. No more lugging my bag and supplies back and forth to and from work and disinfecting everything multiple times a day.

I find this change bittersweet. I like that I am able to get my work completed in a more relaxed fashion. I love that I can socialize with my colleges and have time to visit with my patients rather than just rushing all day long.  But then, I miss the quiet 30 minute breaks where I can clear my mind and de-stress. And I think most of all, I know that the end of breastfeeding is near. I am pumping anywhere from 10 to 20% of the amount I was able to produce at six months. Katie isn't eating as much now as she was then, either, so I don't necessarily have to produce like I was. But I am not able to keep up with her demand. Last month was the first month she drank more than I could make.

I have plenty of reserves for her, and I should be able to come close to my 12 month goal. I just can't believe our little girl is going to be a toddler soon.