Closing Shop

I think I am about done pumping. I know, I know. The going-ons of my milk production and supply are of the utmost importance, lol, but it is a big milestone for me.

I had to look back and see when I got to this point last time because I couldn't remember how far along I made it. Turns out it was almost the same length of time. I pumped at work for 9 months and 26 days with Katie. The last time I pumped was on September 16th, making it 9 months and 19 days with Nathan.

This time is a bit different since Nathan nurses at home, and I am not exclusively pumping. I started pumping only at work over a month ago because Nathan was nursing so much when I was home. Today alone I nursed Nathan 4 times and worked over 12 hours.

I have an over abundance of frozen milk; last time I checked, I had enough milk for Nathan for 7 months at the amount he was drinking then. I feel like it is not as crucial that I pump frozen milk for him now as it was earlier. And for awhile, I was afraid my regular supply would drop if I didn't pump at work, but I have been doing okay the last week or so.
While I am pretty sure the last time was the last time, I am hesitant to close up shop. I know Nathan is growing up right before my eyes and while we have many more months of breastfeeding ahead, I know it will be over before I know it. I know how fast my Boo Bear grew up, and I don't want to blink. I am enjoying nursing my little boy for as long as I can!

Solids

Solids are going well with Nathan! In fact, he likes them so much, he has cut back on how many bottles he drinks while I am working... to maybe two. He just eats puffs and baby food all day until I am there to nurse him. What a stinker butt! Some nights when I have been working a few days in a row, he will nurse every two hours so that he gets in his six or seven feedings a day. I knew that was something that could possibly happen, but man, I wasn’t thinking it was going to happen for sure! LOL! It’s okay; I would rather he keep me up to nurse than him not want to nurse at all. I love that I am able to experience nursing this time. Nathan usually ends up snuggling with me and nursing while I snooze anyway, so it isn’t too bad! I love my little mama’s boy.

Gimme those puffs!

Nathan has become Mr. Grabby Hands nowadays, as well. Whenever we sit down to eat, he is constantly trying to grab things off the table from napkins to tortillas and silverware; he wants us to know that he is big and he can participate, too! He has moved on to stage II foods and has eaten a variety of foods. He really likes his fruits and some veggies. Like Katie, he isn't really keen on green vegetables, but he likes Sweet Potatos, Squash, and Carrots. I am still working on the Green Beans and the Peas. I am sure that he will be ready to eat "real" solid food before I know it.

Yummy Food!

Last Drop

Today was the last day that Katie got a bottle of breast milk. I have been hanging onto the last bag of frozen milk for a couple of days. She should have gotten it on the 30th or 31st, but I just couldn't part with it...

Breastfeeding is something I always knew that I would do, something I am very passionate about, and something I never thought I would have this much of a battle with. A year ago today, I didn't know if it was something that I could continue with. The beginning of my breastfeeding relationship with Katie started out so shaky, I thought about quitting in the first and second week. Honestly, without my friends and family there to support me, listen to me cry, give me encouraging advice, and help me out, I don't think I would have made it past the NICU. I distinctly remember talking to my dad, who was halfway around the world in Afghanistan, and him encouraging me to keep pumping, that things would get better and I would feel differently about things in a few days or a week. I am so glad that I did.

I told myself then that I would pump for two weeks,
then for six weeks,
to the end of my maternity leave.
to six months,
then to a year.

I had to set small goals to keep myself going in the beginning, but I am here. I did it!! I made it to my original goal of twelve months!! I think I have pumped in every situation you can imagine, from bathroom stalls, driving in the car, sitting in parking lots, in my home office, the NICU, small rooms at work, doctor's offices, airports, in the living room while watching TV with the family....you name it, and my pump and I have been there. lol! It was definitely worth it all in the end.

I want you to know that mommy loves you so very much my precious baby girl, and I would do anything in this world to help you succeed.

Happy One Year, My Love. 

I am thankful for the 11 months I have been able to produce breast milk for our precious Katie Bug! She is doing so well and growing up so quickly! :o)

I am thankful for the ten months and 21 days I was able to pump milk for our Boo Bear.

The Beginning of the End

Of pumping at work, that is. Today is the first day that I did not pump at work. I have been pumping for nine months and twenty-six days...

While we were on vacation, I was only pumping twice a day, and I found if I pumped three times a day, I didn't get any more milk. I am now able to pump before and after work. No more lugging my bag and supplies back and forth to and from work and disinfecting everything multiple times a day.

I find this change bittersweet. I like that I am able to get my work completed in a more relaxed fashion. I love that I can socialize with my colleges and have time to visit with my patients rather than just rushing all day long.  But then, I miss the quiet 30 minute breaks where I can clear my mind and de-stress. And I think most of all, I know that the end of breastfeeding is near. I am pumping anywhere from 10 to 20% of the amount I was able to produce at six months. Katie isn't eating as much now as she was then, either, so I don't necessarily have to produce like I was. But I am not able to keep up with her demand. Last month was the first month she drank more than I could make.

I have plenty of reserves for her, and I should be able to come close to my 12 month goal. I just can't believe our little girl is going to be a toddler soon.

Breastmilk Strong!

Kaitlyn had a weight check up today. Dr. H wanted to make sure that Katie is continuing to gain weight and grow as she should after her bout with jaundice and having such a drop in weight. And...she did so well! She is 8 lbs and 2 oz, which is almost two pounds up from three weeks ago!!! :)

Dr. H walked in the exam room with a huge smile and asked me what I had been feeding her to have her doing so well. I told Dr. H how much she had been eating and that I had been continuing to express breast milk for Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn hasn't had anything but breast milk for over a week. Recently, I have managed to take breast milk with us fresh when I leave the house so that she doesn't have formula at those times either. Even after everything that we have been through, she has only had 28 ounces of formula out of the 510 ounces she has drank. That's less than 6%!!

I really feel so proud; I feel like I finally got something right because she is thriving off of her Mother's Milk. I wanted to breastfeed Kaitlyn so bad and it was a very difficult and emotional decision for me to stop breastfeeding and exclusively pump. I almost didn't continue to pump, but with my friends and family (and my daddy) encouraging and supporting me, I have been able to do so. I have only set small goals, for example "I will pump until she is two weeks old." Then I went to 6 weeks old. I think my next goal will be until I return to work, but really, as long as I can continue to do this, I will.

Kaitlyn's First Hospitalization (January 2-4, 2010)

...and hopefully our last.

While we were in the hospital for delivery, they checked Kaitlyn's bilirubin levels. They told us Thursday, December 31st, that her levels the previous evening were a little high, around 7 at 24 hours of life. Her level should have been around 4, and she was in a high risk category at the time. The pediatrician wanted to recheck her levels before we were discharged home, and if it had come down some, she would discharge us with a follow up with her on Monday.

They drew her labs around 11am, and it had gone down some, but was still elevated at 10.8 at 42 hours of life. Dr. H said that we could go home, but to bring Katie in for a re-check of her bili level on Saturday.

Paul and I got up first thing Saturday morning (January 2nd) and loaded the baby into the car. Unfortunately, the hospital staff was not very coordinated at all, and we ended up waiting in the ER waiting room from 11am to 12:30pm. By that time, it was time for Katie to eat, and Paul had complained enough that they put us in a triage room to wait.

They drew her lab at 2pm and sent us home. By the time we got home, though, Dr. H had already gotten the lab results and called to let us know. Her voicemail said to call her back "as soon as possible" and that it was "pretty urgent." I had a feeling we weren't in for good news.

Dr. H said her bili level had almost doubled and was 25.5. She needed to have photo light therapy for hyperbilirubinemia as soon as possible, and she had already called some of the local hospitals to schedule Kaitlyn's admission. She was waiting on confirmation from the Downtown Children's Hospital, and Paul and I packed up everything we could think of to take while we awaited her call. Around 4:30pm, Dr. H called and instructed us to head to the NICU downtown.

Walking into the NICU with my daughter was one of the scariest things that I have had to do. It is frightening to see all the machines, wires, tubes and tiny isolettes with premature and sick children in them. Kaitlyn had her own private room for isolation, Room 14, as she was newborn and had not been screened for the flu and RSV. They started her on IV fluids and Sarah, her nurse, fed her the 1 oz of breast milk that I was able to pump before arriving at the hospital. Her bili level at 19:47 was 19.5. She was placed on triple light therapy, with two overhead lights and a bili blanket underneath her. She looked so tiny in her bed, and was only 5 lbs and 5 oz upon admission.


Paul and I stayed with my mom until 10pm, when Grandparent visitation was over. We headed to the house, and I woke up every 3 hours to pump for Katie. Mom went to the hospital at 8am on Sunday to sit with Katie until we were able to arrive. Sabrina, the nurse overnight, said that Katie did well and kept trying to remove her sunglasses. Her bili level at midnight was 16.1 and 14.4 at 08:05am. Her nurse, Cat, removed one of the bili lights at 09:40, and they placed her in between two bili blankets around 11:00am so that we could hold her and I could try to nurse.


They re-checked her bili level at 2pm, and it was 12.9mg/dl. This meant that she only had to wear one bili blanket, and we were able to graduate from the NICU to the Step Down Nursery! :o) Around 5pm, we transported to the Special Nursery and met our nurse, Jennifer. Paul and I were not very impressed with the Special nursery to say the least. They were not very welcoming and friendly like the NICU nurses were, and they were definitely not supportive of breastfeeding. Neither of our nurses knew how to use the breast pump in the lactation room and the room was unkempt with trash overflowing from the trash can. Paul and mom were able to get the Lactation Consultants to come and visit with me a few times, however, and we made a little bit of progress with Katie.

On Monday afternoon, the Nurse Practitioner came by to see us and said that we could go home. Her bili level was 12.5mg/dl overnight and her color was already looking better. We were discharged home around 3pm that afternoon.

Since we have been home, Kaitlyn has continued to thrive. She is eating well and making dirty diapers for us to change. :o) Her skin color is almost back to normal with her face a tad bit darker than her body. She isn't nearly as sleepy, a result of high bili levels, and she is eating easier than she was. She is not interested in learning how to breastfeed, at all, which has been very hard for me. I was soooo determined to breastfeed my little girl for as long as I could, but true to character, Katie likes to set her own rules. At this time we are giving her expressed breast milk as often as we can.

During our follow-up with our pediatrician Tuesday (Jan 5th), her bili level was 13.9. The doctor said not worry, however, and to make sure that she continues to eat/pee/poop. Our next appointment will be January 13th for her two week check-up.

We appreciate all the love and support from our friends and family. Without this, I don't know how we would have made it through.